May be some women arent meant to be tamed,
May be they need to run free,
Until they find someone just as wild,to run with them
Author Archives: Kanjure
I remember pondering over every night, draining myself with everyone and getting worn out on one question “How do you know if he is the one for the lifetime??”Well, to my equally lost friends who were drowsy with me on this same discussion over and over again, multiple times in a day: This might not be the best answer but this will certainly be of use!!:)
It’s that blink of an eye that steals all your dreams and responds back with a yes!!(At least that’s what had happened with me)
I don’t remember when I exactly fell in love. Nor do I know how I fell in love. But I knew one thing that there will be a life I had dreamt of. And that the right person to share with is him.
Yes, I am experiencing a lot of brawl within self which is hard to cope up with. Given the expeditious changes that each day I am dealing with, there are many such times when I freak out. But you know what?? You do cope up, not because you have given up, but he will help you hack it. He might not battle the world like in fairy tales but he will strengthen you enough to deal with it. He might not run against the crowd, but he will certainly take you aside, hug you and ask you to run yet again with him!! It is then you see “The One” amongst the rest!!He will not be your best buddy, but he will be your confidant.
I also recollect from our conversations the thought of not changing ourselves for anyone and also the very fact that how one doesn’t get bored of just one face!!Well my bridesmaid, I am a whole new person now. Yes, I am having a hard time and a tussle between the old me and the new me. I crave for my old space; I miss my loud speakers, late night M TV shows, beer cans, trippy music and the care free attitude. I am missing a lot on my randomness and an almost rock star attitude. Every second day I am stressed out; I ride on my bike and sit by the lake side. Then I comprehend that I am at maximum peace when I am with him. You will not be his buddy like you are with others. He will make you feel like a lady and will treat like a princess!! It is then you see “The One” amongst the rest!!
There will be times when he won’t reply to your “I love yous” and will walk off. But there will be moments when he will hug you tight enough to make you firmly believe that you are a whole world to him. He might forget dates and not pluck flowers for you, but he will surely water them for he knows you love flowers!! It is then you see “The One” amongst the rest!!
He will get busy, rough, rude and miss on the conversations you have had with him. But he will know that you were wearing pink nail paint in all the three functions that you attended. Finally my lovely ladies, as Ally always told us all, the more you will know him, the more you will want to raise his kids and that will be the definitive of have found “The One” amongst the rest!!
P.S: I found my man but I still need my girls!!:)
“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: “What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”
I like that you seem to be a bit crazy, I like that you like the wire so we will have something to talk about in mornings, and I like that we both like sandwiches so we can eat lunch together, I like that you have me in you and you in me!!!!
I have married friends and single friends and pregnant friends and friends with three years old and friends sleeping with their ex-boyfriends and friends who’ve never slept with anyone and friends who might marry their current girlfriends, but don’t know and are OK with that and friends starting new jobs, idling in bad jobs, going back to grad school, buying houses, adopting dogs, killing house plants, writing novels, living at home, drinking too much, not drinking at all, having it all together, having nothing together, not having a clue.
I live in abject horror of pregnancy and childbirth; I can’t imagine every being responsible enough to own anything: a house, a car, a bicycle, nice pots and pans. I wear things called slacks and blouses, but buy them at Forever 21. I have health insurance, but don’t understand (or attempt to understand) anything that my plan entails. And I don’t know what’s going to happen to any of us, but I think we’re all going to be just fine.
Let’s raise a drink – make it something totally mid-twenties to not knowing and not worrying about it. To being half old, half young and totally fucking awesome
Toast to all of us for running for love, then running away from love, running after marriage, running away from marriage
A toast to be thinking I wanted that break up and then realizing the same moment that the other person called for a break up.
Toast for arguing with each other and then forgetting the main topic of the argument.
Toast for standing with each other even after knowing the hard fact that my friend is a loser,big time!!
Toast for weird stories associated with each of us.
Above all a big toast for accepting each of us as we are, growing together and for the strong bond that we all hold!!
Chintoo(Yash Bhawsar in half pants or chaddi may be!!)
Rock bro(I still suggest a name change to Arpit Dubey,Tauji is believable)
Goldy (Who would even reveal such a name Swati Khanduri!!)
Laali(Yeah, it’s the ugly name but better than anju!!Anjali Trivedi)
Black Maggie(Standing ovation to the one who came up with this name for Vikram Chauhan)
Heera(We are still trying to figure out why has she even for once called Heera!!Harsha Mahadule)
Where every bride shy away and sits silently our bebbey was chattering non stop. So what if we tried avoiding her in an attempt to make her silent, she caught hold of the photographer Vinay.I have to admit that’s how Charu is-a PR queen.Soon after 30 min. of failed attempt of silent sitting,Charu was found playing with haldi with all of us!!Charu, I guess,was the bride who mistakenly took haldi as holi!!oops!!
Rohit-the groom,is as unique as Charu herself.You know it in one look if the couple is made for each other…Rohit has similar traits.He himself couldn’t keep away from meeting Charu and the gang till the last day of wedding. Ofcourse when I say meeting,it involved late night meets,getting drunk, chilling,asking for help,puzzled looks,helpless eyes,evil jokes,flirting and reminding himself almost every min.that he still has a day of single hood to himself.Not that it was of any use to him now at mid-night!!!!
You know the kind of couple they are, humorously arguing,this is how:
“By the way I haven’t forgotten, I’ll sign that receipt for you” said Rohit. He had written out a receipt for Charu’s mother. It read: Received: one daughter in perfect condition, fully guaranteed. Care Notes: gets bored easily, keep busy with a constant supply of retail therapy.
Not to be outdone, Charu also gave a receipt to her mom. It read: Received: one son, sold as seen, no refunds under any circumstances. I’ve re-decorated the room and changed the locks so you’re stuck with him. Care Notes: de-hydrates easily, top up regularly with beer.
The first wedding of our group and a sudden shock to us all…now the time has come. There isn’t any reserve left anymore…no more excuses will work, and now you can’t get away with it. THERE IS NO ESCAPE. not just to the bride but to all of us. Soon we all will be stumped out, one by one!!
You always can gauge your close friends from the intensity of the excuses they have made just to be with you on an important day.
Charu here is the cue for you:
Arpit: My relative has such a major health issue that the doctors aren’t able to diagnose( like the doctors are fools!!)
Harsha: After all the lame excuses she could give, boss denied her leaves, so she was working from home!!
Also you can see their excitement and warmth from the efforts they take to make your wedding a memorable one. Of course we worked on our already given good looks but we dead tired ourselves with power yoga for zero size waist( a dream still left unfulfilled) and the dance practice had we done so much for our exams,we would have been amongst the top notch doctors,engineers,consultants or designers!!:p).Here is a glimpse of it:
Once you get a “Jiju” cool enough,you days are made.Hats off to Rohit for the following:
Rohit you have been so so chilled out all through the hustle bustle of the wedding that you have set a standard for all the ladies of the group to choose equally chilled out better halves.
Thankyou Rohit for being considerate enough in taking our jokes sportingly and at times stretching it the level we couldn’t have imagined!!
Ohhh!!Yes Rohit yes, we will thank you personally in kind too.Dont give us that look!!;)
Rohit you have been ranked no.1 Jiju:
1)As you are superbly liberal(on behalf of Alsaba)
2)As you are superbly chilled out (on behalf of Swati)
3)As you are superbly flirty (on behalf of Anjali)
4)As you are superbly smokingly hot and you have an alchoholic smile(on behalf of Harsha)
Charu watching you for the first time draped in saree was a mixed feeling.First startled, then emotional.You looked so gorgeous,a beautiful lady aware of the responsibility (of course for a change without the pout!!) ready to step into the new life.The commitment was seen all over the face,wanting to make the most of every moment, romantic, desperately hoping Rohit also senses the romance and makes that connection with you all night.By the auspicious red on your forehead…so much to express but is left unsaid.
There were few moist moments too!!It hasnt ever been easy for a dad to let go his daughter, nor does a brother’s heart easily takes it up.Few very personal moments caught the attention and we could see how proud you have made your family.
To Charu and Rohit, united in love couple,we wish you all the best for future journey(ofcourse you know we are all a call away and the gossips wont rest with age 😉
Three months after graduation, I was meeting Sahili. She was in town for some project on event management. Sahili was pursuing mass communication from Symbiosis Pune those days and I busy laying the groundwork for MBA in my town. We had spent sleepless nights at each other’s place during graduation. Combine studies, bunking classes, rating guys, sneaking out at mid-night, trying spirits for the first time, solving each other’s so called love life. We were partners in crime. So now you know the excitement we had.
Soon she reached my place. We screamed looking at each other,sprang round and all around hugging each other. People living next door, next to next door and beyond came out .But I could see that even they cherished the moment and each of them had a smile. She picked me up from my place and we went to the hotel accommodation arranged by her college for other participants. She made me meet her new friends Ally, Harshita, Aadima and Nandita. One week and I was one amongst them. We all had everything in common, may be in different proportions. But we had the same zest of living; we were curiosity driven, open to experiments, dreamers and wanderers.
Today, we all live in Mumbai, working. It’s been four years and we are growing together. It’s a closely knitted family. A home away from home.
It was four in the morning and I heard Ally screaming. I rushed out of my room to the hall. They all stood encircling Ally and in few seconds Nandita came running and joined the circle.
“Are you okay??” Asked Sahili.
“Noooo, and sooner even you won’t be” thrilled Ally replied.
“Aadima is getting married this July.”
Nandita opened her mouth to speak. Snapped it shut. Gulped. Then with a little more success she said something, but it came out raspy, barely audible. An utter silence for some fraction of seconds and all five pair of big surprised eyes glanced each others.
“Woohoooo!!” we all whooped together, so loud that in a minute we had our annoyed neighbors and the complaining watchman ringing the door bell.Apolozising,Ally handled them and after five minutes of almost court trial, we got rid of them.
I got my phone and immediately called Aadu keeping it on loud speaker.
“Girls, I was waiting for your call “and there was a hysterical laugh on the other side of the call. Even after a serious warning from society people we all shouted a couple of times more.”Aadi congratulations…Aadi party!”! Nandita and Harshita shouted almost simultaneously.
“I am coming to you all the next week” Aadi replied and after talking to one and all we finally cut the call.
We all happily sat on the sofa.
“Finally, the days are here, we all soon will have different lives” I quavered.” Are you guys prepared??” I got tensed as I wasn’t prepared and I realized that now I don’t have the time to get myself prepared.
“You are never prepared Anupama” Nandita spoke.
Nandita is the most mature girl amongst us all. She is pessimistic but mostly mature. The kind of person who is apt to deal with the world outside. She thoroughly understands the unfair world. She takes her own sweet time to judge a person, always a little scared of the betrayals the person might bring. You know the way lawyers are, introspecting minutely from head to toe, not revealing what’s in their mind. She can sting if need be to anyone harming her, but to her people, she is caring and concerned. Genuine and reasonable.
“Things will be just fine yaa,dont worry..For now lets roll a joint,celebrating rocking Aadu!” Harshita continued
Internet is a bliss.I say this not referring to many of its obvious advantages,but because momentarily it makes us visit some other world.
Like other unlucky in love people,my friend created an account in one of the dating sites cupid.com.She chose to keep her profile low.You know the very logic that I want a genuine guy who would love me the way I am and blahs!In another minute she started checking other guys profile.Like a crazy hunter, she was brutally disapproving the profiles with no photos. Its surprising but with girls the pschycology reverses.If I don’t put a photo,I have a million valid reasons.But if the guy hasn’t put it,either he is ugly or fake.
Soon her eyes were stuck on one profile.Handsome,26yrs,banker ,traveller,foodie and a tee totaller.Before she could relish,she found out that he lived in a different city.She contemplated over it for some 30 seconds before she started to chat.
They got along well and the very first time they chatted for five non stop hours.Later that night they both agreed to meet online after work.Before she could log out,the guy asked for her phone no.and after a short girly tantrums she gladly gave him the no.
Next day starting from morning till night her fingers were dancing at double the speed over cell phone.The days filled with laughter and the nights got mushy mushy.Soon the emoticons and smileys became her real world.Two months and she thought she found The One!!She blushed looking at those cutely kissing smilies that he would text.The emoticon overdose got her dreaming about that nearly perfect life.She was soon in digital love and a virtual world.Finally they decided to meet up.The guy would come wearing a white shirt and blue denims.The day of meeting she took me along and we reached an hour before time.After an hour of wait there he was.Guy was the same as in profile picture.The only difference that his pictures went long back to his late 20s and now he is in late 30s.
She was hurt if not devastated.It was seen in her tearful dreamy eyes.I kept silent,consoled her.After an hour she sheepishly said “Shit happens!!” and we both bursted out laughing. And in a month she was completely over it.
For some reason I am not sold to the idea of real internet love (RIL).To me its like being told that dude you are tired of the trying in real world and now you need new firewalls and technology.The real world isnt this considerate and comfortable.It isnt the one in which moods and damages can be fixed in just a click or by an emoticon. Isnt it paradoxical that a cold, logical machine has become an important mediator for the most warm and fuzzy of human emotions?
If you closely look at different profiles, they’re all the same, “Charming, sporty, generous, funny, ‘no mind games’, good-looking, sensual … They practically guarantee you’ll be on cloud nine.”Love in a real world is tuff.There are no perfect moments and perfect moods.If two people can manage to steal a lovely glance even for a second in a street jam packed,with boredom,pollution and sweat around, you are in love.The eyes that you trust and the smile that can relieve you cant merely be an emoticon.It is much more.,you are in love my friend.That is how love is in a real life.And the feeling of being loved is beyond any word or emoticon.
Don’t misunderstand me,I love technology. But I still like to hold hands,hug and feel a human touch and I know I’m NOT alone! So, evil smiley face jokes aside, while technology facilitates more contact in relationships, it can’t replace a human touch.So hug someone today people. Hold a hand. Share a smile – face to face. Put the damn technology down for 2 minutes and just love the world and each other.
*Hugs* to the world!!:)
The bride is 27 years old; the groom 29.She is a fashion designer; he is an investment banker. She loves colors, gerberas, butterflies and beaches. He loves Shakespeare, dogs and machines!!Together they conceived the wedding brief but overall all they want is a fun wedding. The brief doesn’t sound a brief at all. It starts by appointing a wedding planner. The days are gone where the close family members would decide the food menu, the venue and other important arrangements. Now the professionals have taken up the responsibility. So what if they charge exorbitant!!After all our national passion is neither film nor cricket as is commonly believed. Our national passion is marriage. People spend all their lives thinking about marriage, their own marriage, marriage of their siblings, children, and neighbors and so on. And also these planners eventually start living with you once the “exercise” of wedding begins. They become the extended family!
The next big step is to plan bride’s mehendi.It has to be simple. To be held in one of the villas with an open deck. A coffee table book with old photographs from the bride’s past. Thanks to Suraj Barjatya and his movies to have raised the expectations of the crowd around. Girls expect handsome, well groomed potential bachelors, while guys expect almost international models draped in cleavage revealing saris!
Then comes the final day of wedding. Call it a royal wedding to be held in a 300-year-old temple at Mandau Fort. The fort lightened in purple and silver, local folk artists performing, baraat comes on a camel back while the groom enters on an elephant. Both the bride and groom exchange wedding vows from Shakespearean sonnets they love!!
And folks it doesn’t end here. You can’t do without deciding on an exotic location for the honeymoon, and finally editing the honeymoon pictures and sharing it with millions of people who aren’t by the way even bothered!
So far we have been looking at the aggressive onslaught of the wedding culture. It is now time to do some introspection on ‘marriage’. The success of any marriage is not dependent on how much is spent on flowers, dining, or live entertainment, but rather on the lifelong commitment and dedication of the partners to the union. In the end most couples spend countless hours and resources planning their wedding but forget to plan their marriage. No matter how much time and money has been invested in its planning, the wedding offers no guarantee to a successful marriage. Planning a wedding should begin by planning the marriage; wedding lasts only a few hours but marriage lasts a life time.